I felt so powerful and present in my Matrescence

The reflection below is from my dear soul sister Akasi who was my first ever client as an in-person birth doula back in 2022. Our paths have been so intertwined that since then she has also recently supported me in my own pregnancy and has also found herself in birthwork.

Birthwork is not a job. It is a calling, it is a soul journey and after walking this journey together, the connection, in one way or another, stays forever. I am so grateful to Akasi and her magical family.

Enjoy reading this heartfelt reflection!

What were you worried about or hoping for before birth?

When I found out I was pregnant, I had feelings of guilt for not knowing, not confirming until I was 13 weeks! I was scared I had done things wrong and harmed my growing son within my womb and just wanted to ensure he was safe and that my body was safe and able to hold him as he was growing inside of me. As for birth, I didn’t exactly know what I wanted because I had never envisioned possibilities before - but I did not want to be rushed, I did want to be seen, heard, and understood, and I didn’t want to have be on defense mode. I wanted to enjoy my perinatal journey and be fully present to enjoy the birth of my son.

How did I help you, what made you feel supported?

Oh my! Greta in so many beautiful ways, you helped me to come into my powerful presence as a mama, and you Made me feel comfortable. We talked about fears, concerns, and things I wished for within the birthing experience for my son. You kept conversation up around my nutrition and nourishment, ensuring I kept a log of all that I was ingesting and if I was hydrating-which helped so much during work days and weeks.

During birth, you were grounded, calm, and attentive to me - massaging my body, providing assistance as I changed positions, walked, feeding me snacks, and yes! You even wiped my bottom when I released before birthing my sweet Adjaye! You sang to me, with me, brought your birthing comb for me to hold, and also made sure to ask me what I wanted within my home, scents, dim lights, quiet, or stillness. You were such beautiful grounded support for me, Adjaye & Raymond.

You being in our home will always be a blessing, you captured moments in pictures, videos, or by showing up and being there to tag team with Raymond when he got tired. Our Doula Angel <3

How did you feel afterward—about the birth and yourself?

In my immediate postpartum I don’t think I was able to process all that had happened as I walked the birth journey. But as I had time to get to know my son, get to settle into my new body and being, my goodness - the feelings the thoughts, the memories came flooding in! I felt so powerful and present in my Matrescence - I was able to understand how I had navigated a time that I was anxious about, even fearful. I realized I had held my head up high, prioritized myself, my child, and my family by making the choice to be surrounded by a village of support. It was a new feeling for me and it took me some time to truly understand that I had also been awakened to new possibilities. I now write these words as a practicing Doula and student midwife fully immersed in birthwork, Birthing justice, and maternal health. My son’s birth story birthed so much as certain aspects of my story also died. A transformative walking of the portal and experience I will never forget.

Memorable moments (during pregnancy, birth or after)

Some memorable moments. Your beautiful deck of cards and the women gatherings I attended, as I walked the perinatal journey - learning, listening, and slowly surrendering. I remember you and your family coming over to our home to enjoy a nice meal together, not sure how many months I was at the time. Your gift of Cacao beans, and a prenatal session that included you and Raymond peeling them so I could make brownies :)

Of course, one of my favorite memories - you initiating a rainbow song during labor in my home, that I didn’t think I would know and then you started singing “ I love you, you love me…” Oh my! What a laugh we had while I moved around in my bed experiencing waves but also laughing full of joy that I knew this song and it was from my childhood - I cry with happiness as I write this knowing I will always know this song for so many reasons now. And last but not least - a sweet gesture of ribs delivered to my home so I could eat! How I chowed down on those ribs in my postpartum! So many memories together, and every one of them I cherish, every conversation, deep reflection, insights and moments shared. Thank you Greta. I love you sister <3